Thread: this seems to be turning into a regular thing

as in, yet another iteration of 'small group of people A' and 'small group of people B' collectively get themselves all worked up over something supposedly involving toy soldiers in the grimdark, start making threads that turn into a platform for expressing opinions, which inevitably turns into an argument, which leads to several people getting personally offended, insulted, and disproportionately rancorous, which ends up being closed, and after a few more threads I make some crazed rant.

Well, this time last year I was well and truly crazy, but this year I am not at all crazed. Just annoyed and frustrated, once again having friends and people I may not know well but have respect for, on either side of some clash of personalities war, and then I have to hear it from both sides until my patience wears thin.

I am going to use 'we' and 'you' here, because it is easier. Decide for yourself if the following applies to you, though some have gotten portions of this personally already, so should know.

I know this is the internet. I know that most of the people I am addressing have been acquainted for many years. And I also know that there are a lot of people who come to this forum for information or to talk about games or introduce themselves to the community in a non-anxiety inducing format, and these people aren't aware of that history many of you share. So they see the ugly, disgusting, uncivilized, ignorant vitriol being slung about and some decide they want nothing to do with any of this. And I am not overstating there, as I recently had to explain, yet again, to someone new (while having a game with someone else who doesn't participate on the forum or regularly at DL anymore because of this same kind of crap), why a bunch of supposed adults, most of whom paid money to have one or more pieces of paper certifying their educated status, are behaving like two packs of starved hyenas fighting over a carcass, for all the world to see.

I am not going to bother bringing up specifics. I am too tired, and really I just don't think it is worth my time. It probably is a waste no matter what. But at least, I hope, people who come to this forum, and aren't involved in your petty and self-interested howling, can see this and take away the message that the vast majority of 40k players in Austin don't choose to routinely behave so poorly to one another. Most of us are very fun and nice people. So are the people who get into these things, they just forget their manners and how to disagree respectfully about two or three times a year. I count myself in that number on occasion, but then again, I have a doctor's note for when I behaved badly.

My last thought, and this is based on a smattering of stories from lots of you, conversations we have had, and a lot of assumption and intuition and the fact that I am just older and have had to deal with the horror of accepting that fact. I know there was a big regular group at DL (maybe at BFG too, can't remember if it closed before or after I was in Orlando) when I moved back to Austin in 2007, because I showed up occasionally. I remember I didn't feel particularly welcomed, and that may be mostly due to me, but I observed the size and feel of the group. And I am pretty sure that vibe, that was apparent to an outsider, is what darkwynn means when he talks about a community, or laments our lack thereof now. That energy was still apparent when I decided to quit being such a pathetic, anxious recluse and start showing up regularly 3 years ago. And you still see glimmers of it on occasion. I think its mostly luck when that sort of spirit persists for a while, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to work towards maintaining it. For those of you who were part of that moment, I know some have gotten drawn away, or time restricted, because of kids, and jobs, and life that doesn't revolve around a game. I assume most of you have changed somewhat in the years since then, and I am sorry to say this, but you can't get that back, not in exactly the same way. That community was a moment in time that is over, and no amount of shouting or planning will resurrect it. But I promise you there are some pretty great people around Austin that you may not have met yet, and who love the hobby, and would probably be happy to be part of similar sort of group, if it didn't seem so obsessed with passionate arguments over trivial things, or could at least conduct them while maintaining some dignity and respect.