Too True. Too True. I think the majority of the complaints really boil down to 1) Lag and 2) someone got out played and decided that couldn't ever be possible. The Lag really is an issue. I even made a video clip to prove it hah. I'd share it with you but it was through Xbox Live and i'm not 100% sure how to find it any more (outside of xbox). Basically I unloaded point blank into one guy - nothing. I punched another guy 3-5 times, nothing. I saw one guy basically skate through a zone after getting shot with a shotgun at pointblank and a melee...nothing. BUT - that was all year one! I'll happily admit when I get outplayed. Don't even care about weapon load-outs or any of the current sniper complaints. I do care about not having a "redbar" player go God-mode and destroy a team single-handed. That's some BS.
For the most part, on the PvE side it IS generally very polite. Most of the time I can hop in a strike and just go to town. The other players will either follow or take the lead. I also LOVE that party chat is optional - so I don't even have to join it or hear them if I don't want to. I think that helps. I also like the weird ways people come up with to communicate without talking. The emotes were useful for that...I was actually impressed with the number of people I've just run across and that I've been paired up with during three person missions. So far the majority have been really nice and fun to play with; not what I expected. But maybe that's lower level experience.
But if you enjoy that, I'm telling you, playing with a friend just makes it cooler.